Hello delta :) I am an invisible and imaginary leader who has come here to pay a visit and honor you with a blog post! HAHAHAHAHA I'M AJ LA. (I just laughed and my mouth hurts ouccch)
Anyways, as some of you may know, I had not one, but 2 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) wisdom tooth extracted last monday (28/3)! My teeth has been giving me problems for some time now, I don't know whether you guys have had similar experiences before. It hurts to eat, it hurts to drink and it hurts to move it :( I can't even close my mouth properly because when I close my jaw, I feel that there's a piece of skin between my upper and lower set of teeth. So, I came to the decision to pluck it out! and by methods of surgery so the cost came up to...............a whooping $1580 :O That's a lot of money yo!!
Let me share with you my progress over the days!!!
1st night - still ok, very normal, not so swollen but PAINFUL LIKE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was biting on a gauze so that it could absorb all the blood (cos I was still bleeding after the surgery) and it was sooooooo disgusting to have to change it every half an hour
2nd day - THE WORST STATE MY FACE HAS EVER BEEN IN! will you guys still love me if I looked like that??? :( my eyes were very very very badly swollen. I only ate mash potatoes and yami yogurt for the whole day!
3rd day - I think at this point of time, my mouth was swollen at its worst. I had just woken up by then (ahahaha at 12pm) and I honestly didn't want to look at myself in the mirror!!!
4th day (today) - MUCH MUCH BETTER. I can talk better now, my face is still swollen but it has gone down a lot and I can eat more variety of food! It's not that I can't even normal food but evidently even if you eat on one side, you will use muscles from the other side of your face and moving it was so painful. I couldn't open my mouth so big either so I pretty much had to SUCK my food in before maneuvering it to the left side of my mouth.
I have a 5-day mc so basically I haven't been in school for the whole week! Hahaha and life's been good. It's given me more time to settle down from the fuss of block tests, fully rest and recharge (albeit this little bit of pain) and think and reflect more about things.
I just want to share and let you guys know that that life in jc really hasn't been easy for me. I know it may seem that I've lots of friends, very sociable, friendly wtv but if I've been taking a step back recently and just really count with my own fingers, who my real friends are. What makes me nothing more than a friend collector? I really don't like to associate this term with myself but I can't help but think that it has come to that. I used to think that people thought of me more than just a friend but I realised that I'm the one who has falsely come to that assumption. For eg in jc now, I've a friend in class that, you know, I think was worthy of keeping for a long time, since we've similar outlook in life, friends and whatnot. But recent events showed me that I was probably the one who was interested in vesting more into the friendship than the other party would like. It just left me devastated. I came to the conclusion that I was always the one wanting, but I was never wanted. Which really explains much of why I want a boyfriend in the first place but ya know, yadah yadah, somebody out there wants you and all but then I realise that I only want one, I don't need one. Even with my bes tfriends now, I feel like I'm always the one asking people out, organising this and that and when someone can't make it, the one feeling upset would always be me. Why should I allow myself to feel that way? Why should I always be giving? Don't I deserve to be wanted, to be thought of sometimes?
We're all still on the roads of discovering ourselves. I believe I'm one of the unfortunate ones who's having a hard time doing that hahaha. But one day, when all of us are mature enough to sit around with each other and talk about past things, we can still look back to our 'old days' and reminiscence fondly. Meanwhile, I just want to give everyone strength to face life with adversity and be prepared for all the worldly challenges ahead :)
Love, AJ
